How to live Authentically and Stop being an Imposter

The definition of ‘imposter’ is someone who attempts to deceive by using an assumed name or identity...

Are you really living your life or are you living a life of deception?

How is this working out for you? Perhaps not so well if you’re disillusioned…

Lets think about this some more.

You’re born as a completely unique individual, there’s no other being with your exact sequence of DNA. And there’s no other being that has had your exact life experience.

Nature and nurture combine to create the one and only you. Other people may appear very similar but will never be exactly the same.

However as humans we have a natural desire to fit in and be accepted. From a young age, you’re taught to conform to societal norms – at school, at work, and in your communities.

This often means hiding parts of yourself that don't align with these norms to avoid standing out or being judged.

This behaviour is completely understandable, its socially acceptable or even polite. But it leads to a disconnect from your true self and this is why you are in fact an imposter.

You’re using a fake identity to deceive those around you in order to be accepted. But you’ve been doing this for so long that you’re also deceiving yourself, you’ve forgotten who you really are.

Its like in the Lion King when Simba starts living with Timon and Pumba. He hides his true identity to match the Hakuna Matata lifestyle they’re living but eventually his true nature catches up with him and he has a full blown identity crisis.

Sooner or later you realise you’ve been letting an imposter run your life and make decisions that don’t sit right with the real you.

This might come in the form of:

• A job you hate
• A toxic relationship
• A lack of joy and happiness
• A lack of true meaning and purpose.

Social status and approval can be a powerful motivator but when all the fun and games are over you need authenticity.

Authenticity is what brought you into the world and its what will keep you thriving in it.

Sabotaging Self-Actualization

When you're constantly pretending to be someone you're not, you're denying yourself the chance to grow authentically.

You end up pursuing goals that don't align with your true passions and values.

This creates the internal sensation that something is missing, even when you may have an abundance of external rewards and social status.

This can leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled, preventing you from achieving genuine happiness and success

Self-actualization is all about realizing your full potential and being the best version of yourself. This process can’t happen without you– 

meaning the real you and not the imposter who is sabotaging you.

Think of it as blocking yourself from the things which make life amazing- FOR YOU! As a unique individual!

What’s the weird thing that you love but are holding yourself back from?

Pursuing and experiencing this passion will protect you from the inevitable negativities and setbacks of life. Once you commit you'll keep going and growing no matter what, you’ll find a way.

The Impact on Society

Being an imposter isn’t just bad for you – it's bad for society as a whole.

When you suppress your true self, society misses out on your unique perspectives and contributions.

Imagine a world where everyone feels empowered to share their authentic ideas and talents. We'd see more innovation, creativity, and collaboration.

By hiding your true self, you’re not only doing a disservice to yourself but also to the communities and societies you belong to.

It’s so ironic because the whole reason for being an imposter is to be accepted in a society you care about. But this deceptive mode of entry worsens the future of that society.

Imagine a world where there were no gender, race or religious stereotypes that restricted people from being themselves.

The world needs to wake up and realize that the deep passions we’re united by mean so much more than the superficial differences that divide us.

If we all took off our masks and were true to ourselves people would be able to see the similarities which draw them together into authentic groups.

Much like the scene in the movie 'Stepbrothers'. The 2 men hate each other for purely superficial reasons, but then they bond over similar authentic interests and become immediate best friends.

But understand, within these groups of similar people we’re still unique individuals and our differences are vital to the creativity and innovation which enables growth and evolution.

Being the one and only

When you're being yourself and doing what you want to do you will perform your best.

A really good example of this can be seen in pretty much an anime show that features a power level or ranking system.

Have you ever noticed how the most powerful characters are always so unhinged. They have their own individual quirks and personality outside the expected norm of their role.

This is what makes them so much better than the average person because they’re being true to themselves and not wasting energy holding anything back.

Even in our everyday lives, we see friends and colleagues excelling when they embrace their true selves. Its like having a massive weight relieved from your body–

You’re free to move, run and jump as fast and as high as you can.

How I Overcame Imposter Syndrome as a GP

Its important to note that ‘being an imposter’, is different from ‘imposter syndrome’

When I qualified as a General Practitioner back in 2019 I struggled with imposter syndrome. I felt like I had to fit the mold of the 'perfect doctor' and act in a way that felt unnatural to me. Especially because I looked different from the stereotypical expectation of what society thinks a doctor looks like. I thought people would be more aware when I messed up.

I didn’t want to stand out so I hid myself behind this professional mask. But eventually I realised that this was draining me and making me feel more like a fraud. I was so self-conscious and distracted I couldn’t be present.

So I let go of this goal of being perfect and just started being myself. Once that pressure was gone I could relax and be authentic. People tend to like authenticity so my consultations were much better even when I didn’t know what I was doing.  

What I’m saying is that being an imposter is part of imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome occurs in a specific context whereas being an imposter is a more general aspect of life.

It sounds counterintuitive but the way I overcame imposter syndrome in the context of being a new GP was by accepting that I was in fact an imposter.

It wasn’t anything to do with getting more confident in my abilities, it was about getting more confident at being myself and taking off the mask I was wearing.

I learnt that being genuine was far more powerful than trying to fit into someone else's expectations.

I felt the desire to grow my hair and once my locs were out I thought;

“This is me, I’m still a good GP, you can’t take that away from me”,

“I’m not perfect I’m just myself.”

Tips for Unmasking Yourself

So, how can you unmask yourself and stop feeling like an imposter in your own life?

Here are some tips to get you started:

1) Self-Reflection

Take time to understand who you really are, what you value, and what makes you happy.

If there’s one thing you do as a result of reading this that will give you an immediate result it this.

Answer this question….

How would you describe yourself to someone you were meeting for the first time if you knew that they would never judge you?

They have zero influence over your life or anyone else’s opinion of you. What would you tell them about your personality, your values, your interests, your weird quirks?

Force yourself to write it down to really solidify your thoughts. Perhaps you can use it as your new bio or about section for your social media page.

2) Challenge Norms

Question societal expectations and norms.

Are they making life amazing FOR YOU or are they holding you back?

Do you need to subscribe to them in order to live as a functional human being?

3) Set Boundaries

Learn to say no to things that don't align with your true self.

You want to experience things in life that draw your true self out and let it run free.

You don’t want to waste time by doing things you already know don’t give you that.

It’s a positive selfishness; by saying no to things that don’t align with you, you’re saying yes to things that do align with you.

4) Seek Support

Surround yourself with people who encourage and accept your authentic self.

This is powerful because you’re taking advantage of human nature to socialise and belong to a group but choosing the group which allows you to be your best self.

5) Celebrate Uniqueness

As always embrace and celebrate what makes you different.

Your uniqueness is your strength

Summary

• Disillusionment is commonly associated with the feeling of being an imposter in your own life.
• Unmasking yourself is vital to overcoming disillusionment, finding your purpose and your people.
• This is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and courage, but the rewards are a more authentic, fulfilling, and joyful life.

That’s all for now

Lewis