Fear: The Barrier Between You and the Life You Dream Of

Have you ever found yourself frozen in fear? Trapped by an invisible forcefield that prevents you from moving towards your dreams…

It might show up in the form of public speaking, changing careers or anything that places you outside of your comfort zone.

Fear has a way of planting itself firmly in your mind triggering a painful sensation that you would do anything to avoid.

And for many, that’s exactly what they do – avoid. Avoid anything and everything associated with fear and the painful emotional sensation it produces.

Its as though fear has evolved from a basic survival instinct to become a gatekeeper, stopping you from achieving your dreams and potential.

Even though you know fear is holding you back, you tell yourself,

 "I’ll wait until I feel ready" i.e comfortable 

But as much as you want that moment in the future to magically appear, its not going to happen by itself.

Fear isn't going to conveniently disappear to allow you to grow. As long as you're pursuing growth and change, fear will be right there, whispering doubts into your mind.

The question isn’t how to eliminate fear, but how to live with it—and even thrive because of it.

You want personal growth?

Well fear and pain are coming along for the ride! So you need to learn to drive with them in the car – because the truth is, they have the directions to get you where you want to go.

A Lesson from Wolverine

When I was 10 years old I watched the first X-Men movie at the cinema. It was exciting, full of action and superhero battles — but that’s not all I remembered.

What stayed with me all these years was a single scene, a quiet moment between Rogue and Wolverine.

In the scene, Rogue asks Wolverine about his claws, the sharp metal blades that emerge from his fists.

Rogue: “When they come out, does it hurt?”

Wolverine: “…Every time.”

That line has been playing in my mind a lot lately, especially as I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone and starting a new chapter in my life.

Like Wolverine’s claws, fear and pain come with any significant action we take to grow. They are part of the process.

And while it might not be the physical pain of metal claws bursting through our skin, the emotional pain –– Can feel just as sharp:

• Failure
• Rejection,
• Fear of the unknown

I used to believe that the presence of fear meant I wasn’t ready. I thought fear was a signal to stop and wait until I felt more confident or capable. But as I’ve faced my own fears and guided others through theirs, I’ve realised that fear doesn’t go away permanently, no matter how much we wish it would.

What if we saw fear not as a stop sign, but as an invitation to take action? What if, like Wolverine, we learned to endure the pain, knowing it’s part of a larger purpose?

How to Reframe and Conquer Fear

Life is a series of growth opportunities. If you’re not growing you’re not living. No matter how experienced or confident you become on one level of life, you’ll eventually get bored. This is your innate human desire for growth will kicking in.

Think of it as getting to the end of the video game level. What do you have to do to progress to the next level?..

Beat the boss.

And fear is the personification of that Boss.

Here’s 5 mental reframes to help you face your fears and grow stronger because of them:

1.Recognise Fear as a Positive Signal

Fear often shows up when you’re about to do something meaningful. Instead of seeing it as a barrier, recognize it as a sign that you’re stepping into new, uncharted territory. It’s a signal that you’re evolving and expanding beyond your comfort zone.

The next time fear arises, pause and remind yourself: "This feeling means I’m moving toward something worthwhile."

2. Acknowledge the Pain

Just like Wolverine experiences pain every time his claws emerge, it’s okay to admit that fear is uncomfortable. But acknowledging the pain doesn’t mean you stop—it means you accept it as part of the process.

Try this simple exercise: when you feel fear rising, take a deep breath, tighten your fists (channelling your inner Wolverine), and then release the tension. Use this moment to centre yourself and prepare for action.

3. Take Small, Consistent Steps

Fear feels overwhelming when we focus on the big picture. Break your goal into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them one at a time.

For example, before I started a YouTube channel I recorded a short video of myself speaking to the camera everyday for about a month. Overcoming the fear of speaking to a camera was the small win I needed to build confidence. Getting these small wins makes the bigger challenge feel more achievable.

Think of it as focusing on one of the end level Boss’ little minions and beating them so they don’t get in the way when you fight the Boss.

4. Fear as Growth

What if fear wasn’t the enemy, but the key to unlocking your potential? By reframing fear as an opportunity for growth, you change your relationship with it.

Instead of thinking, "I’m scared of failing," tell yourself, "I’m excited to learn and grow through this experience." This shift in mindset can make all the difference.

5. Channel Pain into Power

Think of Wolverine. He doesn’t let the pain of his claws stop him; he channels that energy into action, using his claws to protect and fight for what matters.

You can do the same. Let fear fuel your determination and use the discomfort to propel yourself forward.

Your Invitation to Grow

 In Summary:

• Fear will never fully disappear, and that’s a good thing. It means you’re alive, growing, and stepping into new possibilities.
• The key is not to avoid fear but to learn how to move through it. Each time you do, you prove to yourself that you’re capable of more than you imagined.
• Get used to breaking down the barriers standing between you and the life you’ve been dreaming about.

Next time you feel fear creeping in, remember Wolverine’s words:

“Every time"

Every time you’re about to grow, take a deep breath, tighten your fists, and let your inner claws emerge.

Channel that fear into action and keep growing.

Stay Healthy

Lewis

What’s one thing you’ve been putting off because of fear? Take the first step today, no matter how small.

I help people to regain control of their lives without feeling overwhelmed- through my virtual coaching room 'The Empowerment Clinic'

If fear has been holding you back from pursuing your dreams, let’s talk.

Click here to schedule a free discovery session—you’re closer than you think to the life you’ve been dreaming about.