Self-Actualization: The Bonus Level of Your Life

Do all good things have to come to an end?

I used to be completely happy living a comfortable routine life.

I’d work, eat, sleep and then just play during whatever time was left over.

The feeling of knowing I was done for the day, or the weekend or the 2 weeks of annual leave was like being a kid on Christmas day – pure guilt free pleasure!

That's all that mattered and I felt like I’d continue being this happy indefinitely. I didn’t care about my future self. All I cared about was the comfort and fun that I could have right now.

Maybe you’ve felt the same at some point in your life?  For a certain period of time?..

For me it was the first 6 months after completing my GP training. I had decent money, no exams and job security until retirement.

But life has a mysterious way of triggering your soul to crave a different kind of pleasure.

One that cannot be bought or attached to any physical object or person outside of yourself.

Eventually you start seeking this pleasure - its called self-growth.

I survived the covid pandemic physically unscathed, but my spirit was dealt a heavy blow. I had everything I needed to survive but I felt like there was an emptiness I couldn’t quite figure out.

It was like a constant feeling of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

“Do you feel like you’re missing out on something?”

That question would have thrown me into a full-blown existential crisis at the time.

As I became more and more unsatisfied with the work I was doing as a GP, the feeling became even stronger.

I began asking myself questions like;

Why am doing this? It’s making me miserable and making more money is never going to change that.

I’m missing something really important in my life.

What’s my purpose? What do I want to do? Who am I?

“The only test of intelligence is if you get what you want from life” – Naval Ravikant

 

The Missing Essential Vitamin

When I started reading self-improvement books in my quest to find what I’d been missing I kept coming across this one phrase.

Self- Actualization.

It’s a term that I vaguely remembered from med school being associated with Maslows Hiarchy of needs. I was barely paying attention in that lecture because of the irrelevance to my life at the time – but I can still remember that pyramid diagram.

I learned that self-actualization is basically becoming the best version of yourself and continuing to grow towards your infinite potential. Maslow thought this was the natural state anyone could achieve if they could overcome inner blockers.

Each stage describes progressive levels of what humans need to survive.

It suddenly made so much sense to me.

Many people get stuck on the way to the top level. Doctors are especially susceptible to need esteem from others. For me, once GP training was completed I stopped caring about esteem and lived happily on the 5th level.

But eventually without any real challenges to face, life started to become boring and meaningless.

I was approaching the top level of the pyramid. I had everything else and now I needed to keep on going up.

Self-Actualized individuals are no longer driven by the need to prove themselves either to themselves or anyone else. They want their work, activities and existence to have real value and make a contribution to others.

Once we have fulfilled the basic needs on the bottom of the pyramid that ensure our physical survival – we need to keep moving toward self-actualization to ensure our psychological survival.

Its as vital as water or any essential vitamin.

A deficiency of self-actualization causes the decay of your soul, over time you will rot from the inside out if you don’t change.

Overcoming Mental Blockers on the Path to Self-Actualization

The essence of life coaching is helping people overcome the mental blockers that stop them from reaching self-actualization.

When doctors feel the urge to change career the initial period of conflict is the hardest part. Being a fully qualified doctor is associated with having made it to the top in life. So it’s quite jarring when the feeling of ‘what now?’ crops up.

You naturally reach a point when you want to continue growing for your own sake, not just for the sake of becoming a doctor.

For some people this means; senior leadership roles, specialising further, research, teaching etc.

But what if none of those options speak to you? What if none of them are available to you?

You’re now stuck with no control over your own growth. Your part of a large system that doesn't care about nurturing your unique abilities and interests. You’re expected to just fit into whatever mould profits the system (or the nefarious plans of its sociopathic leaders 👀).

If you’re lucky the mould just happens to be what naturally excites you. But many people aren’t so lucky and have to face the decision to change to alternative careers.

If this sounds like you check out my coaching program the empowerment clinic where I guide these courageous individuals to build the self belief to create a career they love.

6 Mental Blockers you need to know about

1) Sunk Cost Fallacy: Investing years into a career or pursuit that no longer feels right makes it hard to walk away. The thought of “wasting” time, money, and effort keeps people stuck. But the truth is, clinging to the past won’t change the future. Overcoming this requires shifting focus from what’s lost to what’s possible. The real loss is staying where you don’t belong.

2) Fixed Mindset: Some believe intelligence and talent are innate, you either have them or you don’t. This mindset discourages effort, making failure unbearable. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again embrace a growth mindset. Believe that new skills can be developed through learning, persistence, and self-improvement.

3) Victimhood & Martyrdom: Instead of taking action, some blame external forces for their lack of fulfilment. Others disguise inaction as self-sacrifice for loved ones. But self-actualization isn’t about waiting for circumstances to change - it’s about choosing your response and taking control, no matter how small the steps.

4) Risk Aversion: Change can threaten stability, especially with responsibilities. The key is Healthy Selfishness – balancing personal growth with obligations, recognising that your well-being matters too.

5) Addictive Behaviours: Many escape dissatisfaction through distractions – alcohol, social media, mindless entertainment. All the time lost to unhealthy habits can be put towards meaningful actions that align with your goals.

6) Value by Association: Living through others prevents self-reflection. Whether its sports teams or children’s achievements placing your self-worth in someone or something you have no control over will eventually lead to misery. Your life is yours to live. Shift focus inward and build your own sense of worth.

Conclusion

I asked do all good things have to come to an end?

If we’re talking about self-actualization then no.

There is literally nothing better to do in life and there is no end to it.

You can’t change your past but your future trajectory is limitless.

I want you to take in this moment and choose to believe that there are an infinite number of self-actualized future versions of you. They have lived the exact life you’ve lived up to this exact moment.

The difference between where you are now and the future self-actualized version of you lies completely in the daily decisions you make from this point onwards.

Stay Healthy

Lewis

P.S. If you’re feeling that pull towards something more, something beyond just going through the motions - this is your sign to explore it!

And coaching can be the catalyst that helps you break through the mental blockers holding you back.

Book a free 1-hour introductory coaching call with me. This is NOT a sales call – just an opportunity to experience the power of coaching firsthand and gain clarity on your next steps.

Click here to schedule your session and take the first step toward a future that truly excites you.

If you enjoyed this blog post please let me know by connecting with me on Linked-In and messaging me! And please share it with others so we can all grow together! 

Join below to make sure you don't miss next week.