5 Things All Happy People Know

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to radiate happiness, no matter what life throws at them?

When I encountered patients like this as a GP I’d feel a mix of bewilderment and awe. We’ve all met people like this, that seem to be living their best life, despite any external evidence that they are.

What do they know that other people don’t?

Whether they’re aware of it or not they all share an understanding of 5 key principles that I’m going to share with you now. And if you adopt them into your life and mindset you too can ‘Be Happy’

1) Happiness is a Choice, Not a Destination

Happy people understand that happiness isn’t waiting for them in the future. When you live your life chasing future happiness you’re unable to appreciate the opportunities for happiness in the present moment. If happiness is ‘over there’ and you’re here then you’re assuming there’s no happiness to be found where you are right now.

Happy people understand that they can choose to be happy everyday by controlling their thoughts. Happiness is an emotion that’s driven by happy thoughts and feeling happy in turn makes you think happy thoughts. It’s a cycle that you can jump into at any time by controlling your thoughts.

Happy people have more positive thoughts than negative thoughts. Positivity researcher Barbara Fredrikson suggests that we should aim for a ratio of 3 positive thoughts for every negative thought. This 3:1 ratio is the best predictor for people who flourish in life due to positivity and happiness.

Give this a try. The next time you’re feeling a negative emotion like anger, fear, sadness. Try to think of 3 additional things which evoke positive emotions such as joy, love or gratitude. 

Additionally you can try nullifying the negative emotion completely by doing something called self-interrogation.

This is basically when you question the facts of the situation objectively. For example if I’m running late in clinic and a patient complains, I’ll ask myself should I really be upset about this? What’s the reason I’m running late? Did I have any control over it? How did the previous patient benefit as a result of me spending extra time? Is the current patient aware of any of this?

Instead of just accepting the immediate negative reaction you question it the same way you’d question a friend if they came to you for support.

2) Gratitude is Powerful

Happy people practice gratitude regularly, focusing on that they have rather than what they’re missing. The reason gratitude is such a useful positive emotion is because its so easy to access by anyone at anytime. Even in the bleakest of times when it feels like there is nothing to laugh or smile about, you can still feel grateful for the simple gift of being alive.

There is always something that you do have and by training your mind to pay attention to these things you’ll always feel grateful.

Literally, just writing that gave me a boost.

If you’re not used to this way of thinking it might feel a little unrealistic and silly initially. This is exactly why it needs practice until it becomes more natural to you. The truth is that everyone has there own perception of reality. After practicing gratitude for a few months you’ll realise you have the power to control your own reality. And once your in control why would you choose to perceive the reality that makes you feel like shit over the one that makes you feel happy?

So I’d suggest you start a gratitude journal by listing 3-5 things you are thankful for at the start of each day as soon as you wake up.

Bonus tip: ‘Waking up’ is an easy one to get you started!

3) Connection Matters More Than Material Success

Happy people prioritise meaningful relationships over accumulating material things or climbing the career ladder.

This is actually something I first learned from Kanye West’s College Dropout album as a teenager. Just listen to the ‘School Spirit Skits’.

Jokes aside though, what’s going to matter on your death bed, isn’t having letters after your name or 7 figures in your bank account– it’s the memories of the people you care about.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest-running studies on happiness and well-being. Researchers followed a group of men for over 75 years and found that the quality of relationships—not wealth or fame—was the most significant predictor of happiness and longevity. Those with strong social bonds reported higher life satisfaction and were healthier both mentally and physically.

This really hit home for me when I got married earlier this year. Having a group of people gathered to send love and well wishes towards us created a surge of oxytocin that I’ll remember forever. Oxytocin is released when people engage in social bonding like spending time with friends or family. Oxytocin is linked to feelings of trust, empathy, and happiness, further enhancing the emotional benefits of close relationships.

That’s why since then I’ve tried schedule regular time to catch up with friends and maintain close connections with loved ones.

So even though the darkness of winter is upon us, push yourself to go out and connect with people.

4) They Embrace Life’s Imperfections

Rather than chasing perfection, happy people accept and even appreciate life’s imperfections.

When happiness becomes conditional on perfection then you’ll never be happy. Even with 99.9% perfection you’ll still let that 0.01% imperfection haunt your thoughts.

Happiness is about embracing the beauty of authenticity. Your flaws are what make you a special imperfect human being. Accepting yourself as you are doesn’t mean that you ignore your flaws and never work on them. In fact it’s the opposite, because its only once you accept that you have the flaws that you’ll feel motivated to do something about them.

Most people tend to bury their flaws hoping no one will see. When you do this you end up feeling self-conscious constantly that someone will find them.

Can you feel paranoia and happiness at the same time?

Happy people just show up as themselves, flaws and all, like its no big deal. Any by them projecting that energy, it becomes no big deal!

Its like saying "yes this is my imperfection here it is!" there’s either:

1)        Nothing I can do about it so I choose to accept it

2)        Something I can choose to actively work on and develop over time

This is a beneficial mindset for you and for the people you’re afraid of being seen by. People like to see honesty and authenticity like this. It gives them permission to dig up their own shit and accept it or start working on it.

Nothing in natural life is completely perfect if it were then there would be no evolution.

When you find yourself chasing perfection, focus on how far you’ve come.

Progress > Perfection.

 5. They Live with Purpose

Happy people align their daily actions with their values and purpose.

“If a man is working towards a predetermined goal and knows where he is going, that man is a success. If he’s not doing that he’s a failure. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal”

–Earl Nightingale

The same could be said about happiness. Happy people live their daily life’s in alignment with what they feel is important and meaningful.

No one can tell you what you feel, you just feel it, that’s your purpose, that’s your special mission in life.

• You can be happy working on the bins if your mission is to dispose of the worlds waste.
• You can be happy as a sales assistant at Aldi if your mission is to make everyone in the local community smile.
• You can be happy working as a hospital cleaner if your mission is to eradicate germs from infecting people.

I’m using these examples as there’s no prestigious training involved by societal values. Because that’s irrelevant when it comes to people actually feeling happy.

If your life is set up so you get to feel that you’re working purposefully every day then you’re going to live with long term happiness.

Sometimes your purpose may be less obvious and you may get confused over what you think you should want and what you actually want.

Life coaching can be really helpful here to clarify the values most important to you in life, define your purpose and make a plan for your life to fall into alignment.

Conclusion

Happiness isn’t an elusive dream; it’s a practice grounded in simple, everyday choices.

Happy people:

1. Understand that happiness is within their control
2. Focus on gratitude
3. Build meaningful connections
4. Embrace life’s imperfections
5. Live with purpose

These five truths are not secrets but guiding principles that anyone can apply to cultivate a fulfilling and happy life.

Start small, choose one to implement today, and watch as it begins to positively shift your outlook and overall happiness. Happiness, after all, is a journey we can all embark on.

Stay Healthy

Lewis